Not Me is a Thai BL action series. The protagonist assumes his twin’s identity to investigate what happened to his hospitalized brother. Previously, his sibling was part of a mysterious group that plotted hostile activities. The main character infiltrates the faction and tries to earn their trust while maintaining his undercover disguise. Yet, he faces suspicion from one specific member as tensions escalate dangerously.
On the surface, Not Me is an exciting thriller packed with intrigue, mystery, and suspense. Deep down, the meaningful story transcends the BL genre, speaking volumes about activism, justice, and revolution in our society. The profound messages, sizzling romances, and exceptional acting produce a memorable series that resonates powerfully.
Not Me Summary
Around 11 hours
Deep and thoughtful
Around 45 minutes
White and Black are twin brothers who separated in their childhood after their parents divorced. White lived abroad with his dad, travelling the world. The two siblings spent years apart with no contact. White recently returns to Thailand, following his father’s footsteps to become a diplomat. His wealthy dad has many connections to bolster his son’s career, a privilege that makes White feel self-conscious.
White discovers his brother is in a coma after a violent attack. Tod, a childhood acquaintance, shares his conspiracy theory that Black has gotten mixed up with a shady group of friends. Tod suspects these mysterious men are responsible for Black’s hospitalization. White agrees to investigate the situation, hoping to learn the truth and find his sibling’s assailant.
After taking on his brother’s identity, White goes undercover and meets Black’s friends. There are four of them in the group, and they hang out in a run-down garage. Gumpa is the older leader and the owner of the garage. He is joined by Gram, Yok, and Sean. None of them notices the differences between White and Black. However, Sean has a hostile relationship with Black and acts aggressively towards his doppelganger.
White is unsettled after learning about the group’s latest plans. They plot to burn down the house of a powerful businessman. Black’s friends believe Tawi is a corrupt capitalist who exploits workers, breaks laws, and uses his wealth to cover unethical misdeeds. Their premeditated arson is a political statement, like vigilantes retaliating against the injustices of society.
Reluctantly, White goes along with the dangerous scheme to maintain his undercover disguise. However, the group notices his uneasiness and treats him with skepticism, especially Sean. The arson doesn’t go according to plan. White feels traumatized by the events and loses his composure. The others don’t understand why “Black” behaves so differently, unaware he is a different person. Tensions flare between White and Sean, escalating their precarious relationship dynamic.
Not Me Trailer
Not Me Cast
White Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat (กัน อรรถพันธ์ พูลสวัสดิ์) Gun Instagram
White is a university student who recently moved back to Thailand after living abroad with his diplomat father. White has a twin brother named Black, but the two siblings separated after their parents’ divorce. Nonetheless, they share a special bond and can experience each other’s pain. White secretly adopts Black’s identity to investigate the circumstances behind his brother’s assault.
Sean Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn (ออฟ จุมพล อดุลกิตติพร) Off Instagram
Sean is a university student who runs in the same social circles as Black. He lives in Gumpa’s garage. Sean is a straight-shooter with a feisty personality and doesn’t sugar-coat words. He constantly clashes with White, treating him with hostility and suspicion. Sean has a casual fling with Namo, although they aren’t officially dating.
Yok First Kanaphan Puitrakul (เฟิร์ส คณพันธ์ ปุ้ยตระกูล) First Instagram
Yok is an art student at university, friends with Black, Sean, Gram, and Gumpa. He comes from a humble working-class background. Yok lives at home and has a close relationship with his single mother, who is mute. He communicates with his mom through sign language. Due to his family situation, Yok is passionate about equal rights for people with disabilities.
Dan Fluke Gawin Caskey (ฟลุ๊ค กวิน แคสกี้) Fluke Instagram
Dan is a mysterious artist who goes under the alias UNAR. He draws protest art with social criticism as a theme. His works are famous, generating a following among artists. He shares his artwork through social media. Dan’s real identity is anonymous, but Yok becomes fascinated with learning who he is.
Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat (กัน อรรถพันธ์ พูลสวัสดิ์)
Mond Tanutchai Wijitvongtong (เฟิร์ส คณพันธ์ ปุ้ยตระกูล)
Papang Phromphiriya Thongputtaruk (ปาแปง พรหมพิริยะ ทองพุทธรักษ์)
Sing Harit Cheewagaroon (ซิง หฤษฎ์ ชีวการุณ)
Film Rachanun Mahawan (ฟิล์ม รชานันท์ มหาวรรณ์)
Lookjun Bhasidi Petchsutee (ลูกจัน ภาสิดี เพชรสุธี)
Filmshy Natthapon Pakdeerak (ฟีมชี่ ณัฐพนธ์ ภักดีรักษ์)
Pae Daweerit Chullasapya (ทวีฤทธิ์ จุลละทรัพย์)
Boss Thawatchanin Darayon (บอส ธวัชนินทร์ ดารายน)
Chokchai Charoensuk (โชคชัย เจริญสุข)
Dujdao Vadhanapakorn (ดุจดาว วัฒนปกรณ์)
- The leads (Gun and Off) have appeared in multiple BL projects in the past. They portrayed a couple in the 2018 Thai BL anthology series Our Skyy and the 2019 drama Theory of Love. They also costarred in the 2019 short movie Love from Outta Space.
- Gun is the lead of the 2015 Thai gay movie The Blue Hour. He also appeared in the popular Thai franchise The Gifted and The Gifted: Graduation.
- Off has a supporting role in the 2016 Thai BL series SOTUS and its 2017 sequel SOTUS S.
- Previously, Yok’s actor (First) had a main role in the 2020 Thai body-swap series The Shipper.
- Dan’s actor (Fluke) featured in the 2019 Thai BL series Dark Blue Kiss and had a supporting role in the 2022 Thai drama Enchanté.
Not Me Review
Drama Review Score: 9.1
Not Me is a bold and intelligent drama about social activism, packaged cleverly as an action thriller. On the surface, you’ll enjoy the exciting plot filled with suspense, intrigue, and adventure. On a deeper level, the series explores the themes of justice, equality, and freedom. It uses a fictional story to highlight prominent human rights topics in Thailand and the world. Supported by excellent acting and sizzling romances, Not Me is one of the most substantial BL works in the genre.
Many BL stories are light and frivolous. My statement isn’t meant to be a diss, because I love cute fluffy romances as much as the next person. However, it’s rare to find a series that tackles significant real-world issues. Some BL dramas promote LGBT discourse, which is definitely important, but that’s the extent of the social agenda. Not Me is remarkable because it pushes further and focuses on tons of progressive ideas. It opens up dialogues on inequality, discrimination, corruption, disabilities, political demonstrations, and kidnapped activists, among a long checklist of sensitive topics.
Impressively, Not Me takes these heavy concepts and weaves them into a compelling narrative. It creates a multifaceted story with fast-paced action, gritty mystery, and exhilarating twists. The main characters are memorable with distinctive personalities and share vibrant chemistry. As we follow them on a dangerous journey, we learn their backstories, understand their values, and champion their causes. The plot gains momentum once we grow attached to the cast. Not Me peaks around the middle with a streak of iconic episodes that resonate mightily.
The series takes a while to build up the two BL couples. The early episodes focus prominently on the investigations and adventures, leaving little development for relationship drama. Thankfully, the romances galvanize in the second half, handled with as much complexity as the storytelling. White & Sean have a tense, volatile connection that keeps you watching with bated breath. Their sharp banter, insightful chats, and hot kisses are all entertaining. Likewise, Yok & Dan dazzle with their pulsating chemistry. Their fun cat-and-mouse dynamic transforms into tender affections.
Not Me is strengthened by the two capable lead actors, who have a comfortable rapport. Gun manages the two challenging roles skillfully and convincingly. He portrays the twin brothers with subtle nuances in his expressions and body language. His costar Off is so natural, asserting his character’s tough exterior that gradually reveals a softer side. Wow, he gives an incredible performance in Episode 8, exuding so much vulnerability and authenticity. The supporting cast is also pretty solid, although Dan’s actor (Fluke) stands out as the noticeable weak link.
Unfortunately, Not Me loses steam around the end. The outlandish plot goes off the rails in the last few episodes, only salvaged by the impeccable acting. Some parts of the finale feel rushed and sloppy, a downgrade from the tight narrative I loved at the start. Nonetheless, let’s overlook any grievances to focus on the bigger picture, because this series carries profound messages that transcend the BL genre. Not Me is a powerful statement on change, progress, and revolution in our society. I stand in complete solidarity with this meaningful and momentous activist drama.
Not Me has a fast-paced plot packed with adventure, mystery, and suspense. Beyond the action, the story conveys progressive ideas about justice, equality, and revolution.
The two BL romances take a while to heat up, but both couples share sizzling chemistry. White and Sean have a fun, volatile relationship dynamic that will keep you captivated.
The leads share a superb rapport and give convincing performances that elevate the series. Sean’s actor (Off) is phenomenal in Episode 8, capturing his character’s vulnerability perfectly.
Not Me has a happy ending that doesn’t resolve the ongoing conflicts, but the protagonists are in a good place. Unfortunately, the storytelling feels sloppier over the last few episodes.
The dark and gritty atmosphere is a suitable match for this series. I love the effort put into the props, artwork, choreography, and interior designs.
Not Me is a profound drama highlighting social activism, packaged cleverly as an action thriller. The thrilling story, memorable romances, and significant themes make this series a must-watch for BL fans.
Not Me Series Explained
Rebels with a cause
What was your first impression of Sean and his friends when you met them? I guess Gram seemed friendly enough, Yok less so, and Sean…well, Sean was in a category of his own.
As a collective, they seemed like a group of hard-talking bikers prone to violent outbursts and dangerous activities. Tod already planted seeds in our minds, claiming they were responsible for Black’s attack. Plus, the episode ends with them plotting arson. These guys came across as troublemakers from the wrong side of the tracks.
Once we get to know Sean, Yok & Gram, we realize they aren’t the bad guys. These hopeful young men are passionate about making a positive difference in society. Yes, they’re angry, but their rage is directed at a corrupt bureaucratic system that protects the privileged and abandons the marginalized. They see the inequality, experience the injustices, and want to disrupt the status quo to trigger social change. Their methods aren’t necessarily elegant or legal, but their intentions come from wanting to restore the balance in a lopsided power hierarchy. They are rebels with a cause.
What is justice?
In Episode 2, Sean gets a bit of a kick by describing himself as a heroic vigilante. His group is like Batman, fighting against evildoers in the middle of the night. Tawi may have bribed police and judges to keep quiet about his misdeeds. Yet, Sean and his friends enforce their own form of justice by exposing the corrupt businessman’s scandals.
Sean’s schemes are radical, taken to a dangerous extreme. His actions are undeniably risky, from burning down a house to poisoning a beverage factory. White opposes these tactics, claiming they’re too violent and controversial. He clashes with Sean, who believes they must go aggressive to get the public’s attention. After all, revolutions don’t begin with mild-mannered pleasantries. If you want to bring down a villain like Tawi, you must hit hard.
They are also breaking the law. Not Me asks us to juxtapose Sean and his friends, considered criminals, with Tawi and his business empire, who gets a free pass. Is the rule of law absolute if it applies only to the underprivileged sector? At the same time, are Sean’s methods justified? Where is the line between enforcing justice and committing a crime? I don’t dare to answer these ideological questions at BL Watcher, but it’s definitely food for thought.
Sean vs Tawi
Bringing down Tawi is one of the central storylines in Not Me. Sean spearheads the movement, his friends support the cause, and they eventually get the public to take their side. Tawi is a vague and distant villain, ambiguous enough for the viewers to draw their own conclusions about him. In my opinion, who Tawi is doesn’t matter. He is more like a symbol, representing all the morally corrupt powerhouses in the world.
Tawi could be a corporate CEO, a government official, a billionaire tech guru, or a member of the monarchy. His character exemplifies anybody in a position of power and uses their privilege to do something evil. If these wrongdoers get questioned or caught, they will use any necessary means to silence their critics. In Tawi’s case, he sends assassins to go after Sean and his friends, leading to brawls and gunfights in the last few episodes.
Sean himself is also a symbol, representing all the oppressed victims abused by those in power. His father was shot while smuggling drugs for Tawi, who faces zero accountability due to his wealth and status. Tawi and Sean’s dad were part of the same drug ring, yet one lives in luxury and the other gets brutally killed. Sean wants to destroy Tawi’s reputation, partially to avenge his father. However, his character isn’t just on a quest for personal revenge. He’s motivated to expose the corruption in the broken legal system and drive a political upheaval.
Sean puts on a tough façade. He behaves aggressively, almost getting into a fistfight with White during their first encounter. Subsequently, he antagonizes White in the early episodes, eager to hurl insults and provoke arguments. Sean also unleashes his vitriol at Tawi and Dan, his two nemeses. The pattern is that if Sean doesn’t like somebody, he’ll make his disdain very clear.
You’ll notice Sean is more relaxed around Namo, Gumpa, and eventually White once their relationship improves. His hostility is a defence mechanism, reserved for those who pose a threat to him. Sean puts up emotional barriers to avoid becoming vulnerable, showing weakness, or getting hurt by his enemies. The insults, the violence, and the belligerence are to mask any fear or overcome self-doubt. This world is a scary place run by villains, and Sean protects himself by acting fiercely combative.
In Episode 6, Sean has an angry outburst at the beverage factory: “You think I’m not scared!? You think I am enjoying this!?” It’s one of the first times we’ve seen his character drops the bravado, revealing fragility and shaken confidence. Up until this point, Sean seemed impenetrable, going against Tawi with an unstoppable vengeance. Now, we see a crack of vulnerability, which was always there beneath his tough exterior. Sean is afraid and aware of the dangers around his actions. Yet, he’s adamant about taking these risks, guided by resilience and righteousness.
White and Sean
Episode 8 is a momentous breakthrough for Sean’s character. He arrives at White’s apartment to apologize for their heated confrontation earlier. With Sean being Sean, he’s too proud to say the word sorry aloud. “I’m treating you to a drink,” Sean declares. White teases him playfully, but he accepts the half-apology in good spirits. White’s congeniality puts Sean at ease, creating a cozy atmosphere in the room.
Capitalizing on their friendly exchange, White uses this opportunity to inquire about his companion’s past. First, he climbs out of bed and sits on the floor, meeting Sean eye-to-eye. Then, White asks in a soothing voice, “What did Tawi do to you?” There was a pause as Sean looked down, but White continued speaking. “You may think this is your problem, but you don’t need to keep it to yourself. You might feel better if you share it. If it’s too much to handle, I’m here to listen.”
Sean’s demeanour is a revelation. His eyes softened immediately, a mixture of sincerity and disbelief. He looks moved that White cares enough about him to learn about his story. The actor does a superb job, transforming the character’s hardened gaze into a wistful look. Finally, Sean opens up about himself, revealing his tragic backstory. He lets his guard down after keeping this anguish bottled up for so long. White reassures him that he doesn’t have to shoulder his emotional burdens alone. Sean gains a powerful confidante, giving him strength amid his vulnerability.
Sean and White’s relationship improves after their turning point in Episode 8. The transformation is drastic as Sean opens up physically and emotionally around his companion, holding nothing back. Beyond a romantic attraction, what has evolved in their dynamic is trust. Initially, Sean was skeptical of his companion, unsure if their views aligned. Black was notoriously adversarial, and Sean clashed with him despite being allies. His animosity carried over to White.
Yet, White isn’t like his brother. He exudes empathy, warmth, and optimism, shining light to counterbalance the darkness inside Sean. White genuinely wants to get closer to his companion. He uses the ~trust fall~, a daring exercise to establish their confidence in each other. “I did the free fall, and you just showed me you wouldn’t let me go.” That stunt resonated with Sean, removing any lingering doubts in his mind. White broke the last of his emotional barriers.
Sean knows he can lean on White, no longer putting up cautionary pretenses around him. He can finally stop acting like a tough guy in every interaction. He can be the Sean who gives sweet spontaneous kisses, the Sean who vocalizes his fears and anxieties, the Sean before the trauma of his father’s death. White has inspired Sean to be liberated, be transparent, and be himself. I trust you enough to stop being so strong all the time. I trust you to pick me up in my fallible moments. And I want you to know the trust is mutual.
White comes from a privileged background, more fortunate than most. His father is a diplomat, while his mother is a judge. He has received the best education and seems primed for a thriving career. Although Sean might be a victim of inequality, White enjoys the benefits on the triumphant side. He begins the series on a cozy predetermined path laid out by his dad. Be a diplomat, earn money, and make his family proud.
Without meeting Sean and his friends, White might’ve continued leading a comfortable life of luxury. You wouldn’t find him living in a dinky garage, jumping across building rooftops, or participating in a demonstration. However, White experiences a political awakening. Sean’s powerful ideologies have made White reassess his priorities, principles, and privileges.
White scrutinizes the diplomat interview, a charade to present the illusion of “fair” competition. In reality, the system was fixed from the start, since he would always pass the test through nepotism. It was precisely this type of corruption that Sean hated and opposed. Maybe the old White would’ve taken the job offer, but the new and enlightened White wants no part of the fraudulent system.
In his old life, White was not free. He might be rich and comfortable, but his lavish lifestyle came with limited autonomy. Suppose White accepts the diplomat job. The authorities control what he can or cannot say. For instance, it’s inappropriate to point out the human rights abuses in his country. White must repress his views, compromise his values, and fall back on his family’s connections if anything goes wrong.
Episode 2 introduces a valuable mantra: “Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.” White experiences empowering emancipation after meeting Sean and the squad. His new friends show him there’s a different way to live, away from his father’s rigid hierarchy. Sean, Yok, and Gram are liberated, answering to nobody except their moral conscience. They challenge the status quo, make their own rules, and say whatever is on their minds.
There’s no going back once White gets a taste of independence, free will, and self-expression. He cannot imagine returning to his family. White breaks free from the chains of his old life, converting to a worthwhile cause. Maybe some of you are pragmatic and think it’s ridiculous to give up so much fortune. But for White, money isn’t his motivation. Fuelled by idealism, White’s soul is bustling with enthusiasm and eagerness to make society a better place. The freedom to be himself and advocate for change is priceless.
Obviously, Not Me dramatizes some aspects of activism for entertainment, but you get the gist it isn’t an easy journey. The protagonists live in poor conditions, risk getting arrested, and constantly face struggles. Each setback tests their resolve, and White comes close to quitting in Episode 2. He has an easy out and can go back to his old lifestyle, away from police, kidnappers, or near-death encounters. Yet, White always returns and keeps pushing for social justice despite the traumatic experiences.
Activism is a tough ordeal with many challenges and no guarantees. You may feel frustrated, not seeing the real change you wished for in society. Your artwork, tweets & participation in protests may not yield immediate breakthroughs. You may not even see the results of your labour in this lifetime. Nonetheless, you advocate anyway to fight for a greater cause than yourself. You carry the conviction that a generation after yours will benefit from the history of activism.
Not Me reassures activists worldwide that you aren’t alone. Yes, the world has evildoers in power like Tawi and privileged culprits like White’s parents. However, courageous heroes like White and Sean also exist, fighting tirelessly for progressive change. Best of all, they are joined by countless allies in protests. These people can be acquaintances or strangers, but they all share the common goal of making society better. Every political rally in Not Me celebrates humanity, emphasizing the solidarity between activists. Not just me. Not just you. Together, we will win.
Feel inspired? It’s never too late to join the Milk Tea Alliance and follow activist movements in East Asia. 🧋
Not Me is a powerful BL drama that uses its platform to advocate for numerous causes. Admirably, it highlights marriage equality and champions trans activists. However, the series doesn’t just focus on LGBT culture. The storyline touches on pay disparity, legal impunity, disability advocacy, and many meaningful civil rights topics. Not Me is at the forefront of making progressive statements and opening up substantial dialogues. It’s the pioneer of introducing a myriad of real-world issues into the BL genre, unlike anything else out there.
If you read in between the lines, Not Me carries subtle undertones that reflect the human rights uprising in Thailand. It has parallels to the Thai protests in recent years, from the political marches to the police brutality. Not every reference is spelled out explicitly. The series likely received pressure to tone down the sensitive topics. The plot might’ve hit a little too close to the real-world events, making the authorities uncomfortable. Ironically, a fictional story that exposes oppression faces a similar crackdown in real life.
Nonetheless, let’s focus on Not Me’s epic achievements. In Episode 7, the political demonstration against hate and injustice transforms into a glorious celebration of love and equality. We watch the two leads march together under the pride flag, surrounded by a group of cheering activists. The thematic significance is loud and clear. What an extraordinary moment, like witnessing a revolution before our eyes. 🏳️🌈
Not every activist needs to resort to burning down houses or breaking up drug rings. Instead, you can channel your dissent into a creative medium. Dan draws murals to make politically driven statements. Namo conveys her feelings through elaborate graffiti, while Eugene expresses herself with evocative performance art. Each character has an outlet for enlightening others.
Art and activism complement each other, both driven by inspiration. Art is an intimate language that resonates emotionally with its audiences. An artwork makes you think, feel, decipher the messages, or relate to your experiences. It can be profoundly personal, revealing an artist’s core values. Yok grows fascinated with Dan’s identity because the protest art speaks to him. UNAR’s political messages appeal to Yok, who sees their views are aligned. Both are imaginative, devoted to social justice, and can become like-minded allies.
In Episode 6, Yok describes his attachment to Dan: “For someone I never met before, that person drew me in more than anyone else.” His connection seems baffling since they barely interacted. However, Yok understands Dan as a person conceptually through the power of art. Every outspoken mural carries Dan’s feelings, thoughts, and opinions. I wouldn’t describe it as falling in love, but Yok forms a kinship with someone he respects. Their meetings confirm Dan isn’t a poseur and his artwork is sincere. “I looked into his eyes and knew he was different from the others.”
Yok comes from a working-class background, grew up in a single-parent family, and cares for a mother with a disability. However you define a privileged upbringing, he is the opposite of it. Instead of feeling sorry for himself, he overcomes his hardships with more determination than the average person. The adversity has hardened Yok, conditioning him for gutsy situations. After all, running into a burning building to save Dan’s life requires grit and resolve!
In addition to his tenacity, Yok is compassionate and empathetic. He has a fiercely loyal relationship with his mom, learning sign language to communicate with her. His mother’s situation makes Yok aware of the discrimination against the disability community. She struggles to find a job from prejudiced employers who cannot see beyond her muteness. His mother’s voice isn’t heard, so Yok needs to be even louder and fight hard to be her advocate.
Yok’s resilience and emotional sensitivity fit the profile of an activist. It’s no wonder he turns to Sean and Black’s cause, inspired by their actionable plans. Even without meeting his friends, Yok would’ve found another platform for his advocacy. You can hear the firmness in his passionate voice when talking about his mom’s disability. You can see the thoughtfulness in his expressive eyes when inspired by Dan’s artwork. Activism runs in his blood.
Dan is a conflicted man. He wrestles with the duality in his identity, a police officer by day and an undercover activist by night. His childhood dream was to become a cop because he wanted to do good and stop evil. Unfortunately, killing an unarmed civilian was a significant tragedy that torpedoed his sense of justice.
Dan took away another human life in the line of duty. The police were keen to downplay the shooting, so the self-defence excuse seemingly justified his actions. Dan’s privilege from his law enforcement job shielded him from the consequences. He continued working as a cop in a small local district, hoping to contribute positively to society and redeem himself. Yet, Dan carried the guilt for years as the murder weighed on his conscience.
Finally, he uses art to divert his trauma. UNAR represents Dan’s conscience, manifesting because he feels depressed and demoralized with the world. In his artwork, a signature theme is the imagery of humans with plastered smiles while surrounded by injustices in society. He illustrates how horrible events are happening, yet everyone pretends to be happy under a façade of normalcy. The eerie vibe aptly describes Dan’s inner turmoil since killing Sean’s dad.
In Episode 13, Dan backstabs Yok and his friends. He leads the police to capture the protagonists, getting everybody arrested. Yok feels absolutely devastated. The betrayal came after he vouched for his boyfriend to join the group, convincing the others of his solidarity. Yok opened up his body, mind, and soul, only to be held at gunpoint by the one he trusted most. 😢
To be fair, the baddies blackmailed Dan and threatened to harm his family. He is a victim too, made to turn against his allies. It’s a common trick among oppressors to get dissidents to betray each other, because their objective is to divide and conquer. They don’t just want to stop your uprising in the short term. They hope to break your motivation, twist your suspicions, and ensure your group never rallies together anymore.
The tragedy of Dan is that he wants to be a good person, but he gets caught in these situations with tricky ethical implications. It would be easier to hate his character if he was simply evil. However, Dan is guided by his conscience. He feels remorseful, admits his wrongdoings, and wants to make amends. Now, he must suffer more guilt in his life, carrying the burden of betraying his boyfriend and the ROL group. His character has a depressing journey, defined by his villainous actions over the honourable intentions in his heart.
Yok and Dan
Yok and Dan meet at the art gallery in the final episode. Yok has completed his nude sketch, which carries uncanny resemblances to The Fallen Angel (L’Ange Dechu) by Alexandre Cabanel. Dan’s pose is similar to a crestfallen Lucifer after being cast out of heaven. You can see the parallels in their situations, as both are ostracized for their dishonour. The picture captures the emotional conflict inside Dan, who faces a constant struggle between morality and sin.
Yok deliberately uses reddish colouring to demonize Dan’s appearance. The dark shading and heavy shadows make Dan look sinister or almost satanic. Yet, you might become curious about his haunting gaze. Is that a glimmer of ambiguity in his eyes? Do you see an expression of anguish? You start wondering whether the man in the picture is tormented, perhaps trying to contain his remorse. Whether you see the good or the evil in Dan, the artist leaves it up for your interpretation. (Or you may see neither and only focus on his muscles. 😝)
Ultimately, Yok chooses to forgive Dan. Despite punching his ex, they embrace and reconcile in the ending. Personally, I think there’s too much baggage for this coupling to work. Dan killed Sean’s dad, and his actions almost led to everybody’s demise, so it’s hard to let bygones be bygones. However, I appreciate the optimism in this conclusion. Yok could spend his life consumed with anger or let go of his vengeance. Dan has already quit his job, proving his willingness to change. Love prevails, as Yok believes in Dan and supports him on his journey of redemption.
I want to dedicate a section to Gram, but there’s not much to analyze about his character. He spends fourteen episodes delivering exposition and doing nothing substantial. At least Gumpa taught the squad how to use guns and jump over rooftops. Gram…well, Gram kept the seat warm for his friends. I love his lack of energy! Go Gram, give us nothing! 🥲
Okay, that’s a little harsh, but Not Me deserves to get dragged for making Gram so vanilla. I guess he’s endearing enough in the early episodes, and his line “Freedom is the oxygen of the soul!” is an all-time quote. However, I stopped paying attention to him after getting paired with Eugene in a dull heterosexual romance. Oh my god, why do they have so many scenes together when nothing interesting happens? Their bland and pointless romantic subplot might be what I hate most about Not Me.
The worst part is that we could’ve gotten a Gram x Nuch pairing 🏳️⚧️ or a Gram x Black couple 🏳️🌈, both more exciting options than Gram and Eugene. I got my hopes up over the Gram and Black ship tease, but then felt utterly clowned by the “G is for Gene” nonsense. Was I the only one filled with PURE OUTRAGE when that scene happened lol? Excuse me, but G IS FOR GAY. Don’t play with my feelings and imply a Gram and Black romance, only to watch them fight over a girl instead. WTF!? Am I watching BL!? I don’t have time for this straight love triangle drama!
Black wakes up from his coma in Episode 9, causing drama everywhere he goes. If you thought Sean was intense, Black could only be described as nuclear. He antagonizes every character, destroys his brother’s relationship, and leaves constant chaos in his wake. Guided by unflinching arrogance, it’s impossible to compromise with Black. Either you obey him, or he’ll throw a violent tantrum about not getting his way.
Despite his belligerence, Black commands authority and respect from his friends. His ferocious ambition inspires the group, converting them into radical activists. They share his vision, follow his leadership, and find strength from his steely determination. While Black’s fearlessness puts him in dangerous situations, his courage also galvanizes the revolution in Not Me. Many activist movements have firebrand figures like him, who rallies the troops, leads by example, and turns concepts into actions.
Ultimately, Black clashes too much with his group of friends. He doesn’t see eye-to-eye with Sean, Yok, or even his own brother. His methods are extreme compared to White’s friendlier and strategic approach to activism. Black departs because he doesn’t fit in and his views aren’t aligned with the others. His existence would cause tension, conflicts, and division with everyone. Black shares the same goals and ideologies as White, but he isn’t the right fit for the ROL group. He takes his brand of militant activism elsewhere, embarking on his own quest for justice.
Not Me Ending Explained
Not Me has a happy ending for the protagonists. All the main characters survive in the intense and action-packed finale. However, they are put through a traumatic kidnapping ordeal in the final episode. With Black’s help, the group escapes the police force in the hospital. Yet, Tawi’s cronies fight and capture them anyway. The only person who gets away is Black, while everyone is tied up, blindfolded, and shoved into a black van. They have no idea where the vehicle is taking them.
The situation becomes terrifying. The characters speculate they will be killed at a discrete location without anyone knowing. Yok is emotional about their inevitable doom. “If I die, my mom will eventually get over it. But if I just disappear, that’s too cruel to her.” All the characters start sobbing. Sean warns his friends that they can cry now, but they shouldn’t tear up in front of their enemies. They plan to die with defiance and dignity.
Meanwhile, a prominent political demonstration has mobilized due to White’s tweet earlier. Tawi doesn’t dare to intervene or provoke them, fearing it will incite more public backlash against him. The protesters identify the van with the kidnapped victims. Collectively, they work together to stop the vehicle and rescue the protagonists. The characters feel grateful as they are saved by the power of the people. Subsequently, Tawi’s cronies are arrested, although the mastermind doesn’t get into trouble as usual.
Although the van rescue seems outlandish, it’s inspired by a real-life event in Thailand. Let’s start with the context. In recent years, numerous protests have sparked across the country. Activists are jailed for being outspoken about the corruption in the government and the monarchy. Thailand’s draconian laws state that criticizing the royal family is a crime. Prominent protesters like Penguin (Parit Chiwarak) have faced arrests, police brutality & years of prison time over voicing their disapproval and calling for political reform.
Amid the unjust arrests, this van rescue scene reflects one of the many moments where the activists have mobilized as a collective. The protesters created a human blockade, surrounding the police vehicle in the streets. The officers must push through swarms of outraged citizens to transport the detainees. It was an emotionally charged incident, packed with uproar, discontent, and cries of injustice. The Thai authorities blatantly ignored the public’s demands as they silenced and jailed their harshest critics.
Not Me has an idealistic ending where the main characters are freed and enjoy their liberties. Sadly, that isn’t the case with real-life protesters. Many are still locked up in prisons with severe charges that include up to decades behind bars. Even scarier, some go missing altogether. Wanchalearm Satsaksit is a Thai pro-democracy activist exiled in Cambodia, violently abducted from his home on June 4, 2020. The Thai and Cambodian governments refuse to investigate closely or admit culpability over his kidnapping. Years later, his family still can’t contact him.
If there’s one lesson we can take from Not Me, pay attention to these brave activists in Thailand and around the world. They devote their lives to achieving equality, democracy, and human rights. Understand what they are advocating for. Put pressure on those in power. And please, fight for their freedom as much as they fought for yours.
After their release, the main characters return to their ordinary lives. According to the news, Tawi’s drug trafficking operation has been exposed and he faces increasing public scrutiny. The ROL team is hailed as heroes, and the hashtags “#notme #notyou #buteveryone” go viral online. The main characters remain committed to their activism, undeterred by their near-death experiences. We don’t know about their upcoming plans, but they won’t give up their fight to bring down Tawi.
Romantically, all three couples have happy endings. White and Sean make out, have sex, and cherish each other affectionately. Meanwhile, Dan apologizes to Yok for his earlier betrayal. Yok punches him in anger, but they reconcile afterwards. Gram and Eugene also kiss in the finale, in case anyone cares. In addition, Black is alive. However, he separates from his friends and goes on his own path. We learn that Black has beaten up Tod. Ironically, Tod is now in a coma, the same state as Black at the start of the series.
The final scene in Not Me is a conversation between Sean and White. They reflect their experiences and achievements. Sean acknowledges the grief over his father’s death has subsided. White describes him as a phoenix, a bird that represents a free spirit. As the phoenix dies and gets reborn from the ashes, it symbolizes a new era of change. Then, Sean takes the button from White’s jacket and forms a bracelet, tying it to his boyfriend’s wrist. The last moment shows them kissing passionately in broad daylight, as two lovers united in their love.
Not Me’s director wanted a happy ending to the series, deviating from the original plans. According to interviews, they refilmed some scenes to make the conclusion more uplifting. Initially, the finale is quite bleak: everyone in the car is dead. Or at least it was supposed to be a tearjerker, tugging your heartstrings with a dark, gritty, and angsty ending.
The reasoning for the change is influenced by real-life events, because the recent Thai protests had been brutal. Morale was low, with much anguish and disillusionment among the protesters. The director didn’t want the viewers to relive the same trauma while watching a BL series that mirrors their experiences. An ending that shows the activist movement as defeated and demolished seems too demoralizing in the current political climate.
Leave the pain and pessimism for real life. After all, Not Me is a fictional story that doesn’t need to be completely realistic. Instead, it can inspire hope and idealism with a happy ending that shows the main characters still committed to their cause. The series wants to send a positive message to activists, revitalizing their spirit. Admittedly, the new conclusion is very idyllic, glossing over any negativity or consequences. Nonetheless, I understand and respect the Not Me team for making this change.
Not Me Episodes
Not Me has a total of 14 episodes. Each episode is around 45 minutes long. It is a long BL drama, and you can finish the entire series in around 11 hours. Not Me started on December 12, 2021 and ended its last episode on March 20, 2022.
It’s Episode 2. The scene occurs after the group burned down Tawi’s building in the forest the previous night. The plan didn’t go smoothly when they nearly killed Dan in the burning building. White freaks out and wants to quit the group. He doesn’t understand why his brother participated in such dangerous activities. As Gram gives White a ride on the motorcycle, he finds a way to cheer up his friend.
“Freedom is the oxygen of the soul,” Gram tells him with a smile. He encourages his friends to stretch both arms in the air and enjoy the wind sailing beneath his arms. White follows the instructions, a little uncertainly at first. He extends his arms toward the sky, almost as if his hand was trying to touch the sunrise. An ambiguous expression fills his face. Later, White repeats the quote at the end of the episode. As he becomes more comfortable with Sean and the group, White finally starts to see the appeal of his brother’s lifestyle.
I keep going back to this quote because it encapsulates the essence of Not Me. This drama is about exploring your freedom, independence, and self-expression. Symbolically, it’s a meaningful statement that shows White embracing these new values as he breaks away from his old stuffy life. It defines his character’s personal transformation into a more meaningful and enriched life.
Yok and Dan meet
Yok has worked hard to track down the mysterious UNAR in the first few episodes. Their last encounter was risky and Dan pointed a gun at him. That didn’t deter Yok’s curiosity, only making him more determined to unmask the anonymous artist. Their cat-and-mouse dynamic is fun to watch. Each interaction between them is dangerous, unpredictable, and thrilling. The storyline is fuelled by adrenaline, and I love not knowing what will happen between them.
Yok finally outsmarts Dan at the end of Episode 5, locating him as he works on his next artwork. Dan is caught off-guard without his mask, confronted by this handsome stranger who now knows what he looks like. As they escape from the police, the two characters have several tense and exhilarating exchanges. Dan manages to get away, but Yok is a smart cookie and has pickpocketed his wallet. He finds out UNAR’s real-life identity. It turns out Dan is a cop! The revelation is packed with excitement, making us feel like we have made significant progress with the storyline.
Episode 7 galvanizes a large-scale political demonstration to protest against Tawi’s corruption. The videos of the factory break-in have leaked online, inspiring other protesters to come out and voice their discontent. “Don’t let them fight alone,” White posts a message under his anonymous account. The group is amazed when large rallies have formed in the streets due to their actions. Not only are these protesters against Tawi’s corruption, but they also point out his organization’s stance against female workers and the LGBT community.
The demonstration lasts for the entire day. It’s a little random when the protest suddenly transforms into a pride rally, but sure let’s roll with the spontaneity. The protesters have pulled out an enormous pride flag in celebration. White and Sean meet underneath the flag, surrounded by many other cheering activists. The two protagonists smile, hold hands, and march together in solidarity. It’s a powerful cultural statement that will inspire you, sending beautiful messages about love, equality, and revolution.
Sean opens up
Episode 8 begins with a one-on-one conversation between Sean and White. Both characters are inspired by the public support behind their cause. The atmosphere between them is cozy, an improvement over their earlier hostility. White uses this opportunity to talk to Sean more personally. White wants to know what happened with Sean’s dad, telling his friend he doesn’t have to carry the emotional burden alone.
We have only seen Sean put up a tough barrier until now. He seems angry, aggressive, and hardened from years of trauma. However, White catches Sean off-guard by asking for his life story. White is full of comforting words and seems genuinely interested in learning about his companion. Sean loses his usual edge, becoming more vulnerable with a softer gaze. You can tell that he’s getting emotional.
Once Sean opens up about his life, it’s the first time we don’t see him as a warrior. We finally understand that he’s driven by mourning and grief. It’s a fascinating insight into his character, revealing layers of complexity. I love seeing this softer and emotionally vulnerable side of him. After his confession, White comforts Sean by demonstrating that he can be trusted. The ~trust fall~ is silly and spontaneous, but it proves to Sean that he has a confidante on his side. They become a lot closer after this scene.
In Episodes 7 and 8, Yok and Dan properly introduce themselves after understanding there’s no hostility between them. Yok explains he’s simply inspired by Dan’s work and wants to learn more about him as a person. His new friend relaxes, finally opening up about his background. Dan takes Yok to his art studio in an abandoned building and shows off his works. As they become chummier, Yok makes a daring request. He asks Dan to become a nude model for his school project.
Using his incredible powers of persuasion, Yok convinces Dan to get undressed. The police officer is hesitant and embarrassed, but Yok somehow talks him into doing this outrageous situation. He successfully commands a virtual stranger to take off all his clothes. Dan tries covering up his nudity with a pillow, but Yok even compels him into removing the last shred of modesty. “Hey, it’s just art,” Yok justifies. “If you don’t take away that pillow, I’ll assume you’re thinking about something other than art~ 😘”
OMG, this entire exchange was so seductive. Yok behaves like a bewitching siren, exerting some kind of mystical allure over Dan. I watched in amazement with every piece of clothing removed. As ridiculous as the scenario might be, the scene is a brilliant showcase of Yok’s charisma. He’s charming, flirtatious, and playful, so much that you can almost believe why Dan seems mesmerized by him. Plus, Yok’s actor has a megawatt smile and looks enchanting every time he flashes a grin. I’m beguiled by him, and his character can talk me into removing my clothes too. 😳
Sean and White kiss
White and Sean’s relationship grows steadily throughout Episode 8. Sean seems smitten with his companion and wants to spend alone time with him. They stake out on an abandoned building to gather intel for their next mission. Once the two guys arrive at the rooftop, Sean does something outrageous. He steps over the edge, eases his body, and begins to fall backwards. White is startled, but reacts quickly enough to catch him just in time. It was a risky stunt and Sean could’ve injured himself if White had slow reflexes.
Afterwards, White chastises his companion for putting himself in danger. However, Sean felt safe and confident that White wouldn’t let him go. They banter back and forth for a while. Their exchange reaches a crescendo when Sean and White feel compelled to kiss. It was their first kiss, a passionate encounter overlooking the sunset. This moment marks a significant milestone in their relationship, confirming that White and Sean feel attracted to each other.
White and Black meet
White and Sean have sex in Episode 9. Hilariously, Black also wakes up from his coma around the same time. I’m not sure if there’s a correlation between the events, but it’s funny to imagine his brother’s sexual ecstasy is why Black regains consciousness. 😆 Anyway, Black and White have a momentous encounter at the end of the episode. The two brothers stare at each other eye-to-eye. White is overcome with emotion to see his twin again.
The reunion between the brothers is exciting, marking a decisive change in the storyline. We quickly realize Black wants to reclaim his old life, just as White got comfortable with Sean and his group of friends. We know there will be drama in the upcoming episodes, and the anticipation feels thrilling. The scene also concludes with a shocking revelation. You may or may not have figured out Tod is the evil mastermind who attacked Black. The first friend White made turns out to be the real villain all along!
Sean and Black fight
Maybe this scene is a controversial inclusion, but Sean and Black’s fight in Episode 10 stirred up emotions inside me. The drama starts because Sean is unaware that the old Black has returned. From his point of view, he assumes they are still in a romantic relationship and has no reason to doubt otherwise. Little does Sean know that he’s in love with a different twin.
Sean and Black meet up in the middle of the night. Sean is giddy, nervous, and lovestruck. He asks Black to be his boyfriend. The twist is that Black knows about his brother’s relationship because he spied on them in a previous episode. However, Black puts an end to their romance. He pretends to kiss Sean and then spits immediately afterwards. You wanna date me? SPIT. That’s my response!
Sean is confused because he thinks their relationship has been progressing smoothly. However, Black tells Sean to stay the hell away from him. It’s a drastically different stance from their lovey-dovey interactions. Black gets annoyed and beats up Sean, using violence to deter his brother’s boyfriend. Sean is wounded, distressed, and perplexed why his lover would hurt him. He never retaliates, no matter how badly Black throws punches and kicks. It’s a brutal yet morbidly fascinating scene that made me feel awful for Sean. 😢
In Not Me’s final episode, the protagonists are in precarious danger. They barely escape capture by the police. However, they run into Tawi’s cronies instead. A fight ensues and the main characters lose badly. Almost everyone falls into captivity except for Black. The baddies tie up the good guys, blindfold them, and shoves their hostages into a van.
The characters realize they are doomed. They speculate that Tawi is plotting to kill them in a secret location and discreetly dispose of their bodies. This scene is shot in a very artistic way. We see extreme close-ups of each character’s eyes, filled with panic and tears. Everyone feels afraid and hopeless about their impending deaths. Yok is bawling. Understandably, it has been a distressing night for him. He got shot, betrayed by his narc boyfriend, and now all his friends will die.
However, it’s not just Yok getting emotional. Every character is crying, even the tough guys like Gumpa and Sean. We like to think of the protagonists as courageous heroes fighting against an evil establishment. However, this scene makes us realize how vulnerable they are. These guys aren’t fearless. They’re only ordinary humans, pushed to the edge of their limits. Thankfully, the group gets rescued in time by the protesters. I’m relieved to see that they all survive and nobody becomes a martyr.
Not Me Information
GMMTV is a heavyweight in the BL world. It has produced numerous acclaimed dramas and launched many successful careers over the years. GMMTV is the leader in the Thai BL industry and possibly around the world. Some of its well-known works include SOTUS (2016), Theory of Love (2019), 2gether (2020), A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021), and Bad Buddy (2021), among many others.